My musical output has been greatly diminished since the death of my wife.
It changed me.
So, I’ve been looking for ways to, essentially, trick myself into starting pieces.
On trick is to compose ringtones and notifications for my phone.
I got tired of the same selection of notification sounds, so I set out to make some that were more distinctive. I came up with, so far, 8 (I think), though same are variations of a common core.
The first custom ringtone I made was actually done a few years ago, when I dated someone briefly, around 2021. I thought it would be nice to have a ringtone specifically for her. That relationship didn’t last, but the ringtone remains. (TBH, though, towards the end I was associating that ringtone will a feeling of dread, which it still sort of does.)
I’ve written two more since then. It’s a good get-going trick because I’m mostly looking to get something that suits a purpose. But in the process I find myself playing around with melody and harmony, and instrumentation. All things that have been giving me ideas for longer pieces.
These ringtones aren’t meant to reflect or describe the associated person. As I try out different melodies, I ask myself if the piece is somehow suitable for the person, perhaps in a way that would only makes some sense to me. I check to hear if it somehow “works” in the given context.
I’ve not played the recent ones for the people they are for, and I have no idea if they would even like them. They have a certain angularity and chromaticism that I think sounds odd to many.
This chromaticism, etc. is a result of early versions sounding too “nice” or obvious or trite; I will write a piece, listen a bunch, use it, then later listen again to see if I still like it. That is when I start tweaking things (or starting over with some core part of the original, recast).
In the end, since I’m the one who is going to be hearing these, I have to like it. But I’d like to think these friends would too.
At some point I think I will collect these ringtones and notifications and assemble an album for release.